The Crown of Fun
“Courage is going from failure to failure without losing enthusiasm.”
Thanks to the joys of Swedish socialism and with careful budgeting and support from our families, we were able to spend the first 10 months of her life, both being full time parents. We didn’t know if I would ever get pregnant again or if adoption would work out so we decided to enjoy this time together as a family. After 10 months, I took over as a stay at home mum and had a ball and then quite recently, I returned to work and TSH took over. My daughter and TSH have therefore a very, very strong bond. He’s been a very present, hands-on figure for all of her little life.
Now I know my daughter loves me, in the mornings when I pull her into our bed, I get one thousand smiles and lots of cosy hugs. She also tries to French kiss me. However, I can also see quite clearly that the love light shines a little stronger on Daddy. A lot stronger actually. And it’s been like this since day one.
You should never compete with your partner for the affection of your children. I say that purely because it’s a battle I’m never going to win. There are squeals of glee when he enters the room, tears and a tanty when he leaves. When I leave for the day there are no tears or ‘mummmyy don’t go’ it’s more like I get a wave, a dance and a ‘ciao bella’. Daddy can appear any time of day or night and always receives a standing ovation. When I walk in, after a day at work for example, all I get is a shake of the head and a look that means, where the fuck have you been? If you think you can just waltz in and out, you’ve got another thing coming mum. It usually takes about 20 minutes of warm up time before I get a hug or a smile.
It also doesn’t help, the fact that she calls me ‘pappa’. Pappa is pappa, mummy is pappa. It’s just pappa, pappa, pappa around here. I was told that the ‘m’ sound was easy for babies and that’s why the name for mother in many languages starts with a ‘m’. Not for my kid, however. My husband told me not to worry, that is just a phase she is going through, so I told him, “What? a phase that’s going to last 21 years?”. But I get it, dads and daughters, daughters and dads, it’s a pretty special thing. I’ve got a thing for her dad too.
And then I got a text message from a friend in America. Her son was behaving the same way with the love lamp strongly positioned towards ‘Daddy’. It got to the stage where she contacted her pediatrician, whom gave her this response: This is very normal behavior. There will be a time when he cries for you more than dad. How now he associates dad with more infrequent exotic fun, but depends on mom for more routine and daily fun things that he will cry for also… She now informs me a few weeks later, that her daily fun things still aren’t so fun but daddy’s infrequent exotic fun is just hilarious.
So maybe it is more of a mum/dad thing. Mums can be counted on to always be around and can be relied upon to supply life’s necessities. But dads are just bloody awesome!!!
I decided to google this topic and found this rather inspiring poem, with a poignant message for all children:A father is someone that holds your hand at the fair makes sure you do what your mother says holds back your hair when you are sick brushes that hair when it is tangled because mother is too busy lets you eat ice cream for breakfast but only when mother is away he walks you down the aisle and tells you everything is gonna be Ok! ~ Anonymous
Well fuck you Anonymous. And for your information, I bet that the whole dessert for breakfast thing was invented by the same genius whom discovered how to get alcohol out of a potato, a women.
So I would love to know, who wears the crown of fun at your place?
[Photos courtesy of http://www.sxc.hu ]